I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
