Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
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