BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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