You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
