office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
