You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
