This dress was meant to end up on your floor
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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