so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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