When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
