I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
