so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
