i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
And then he peed in my hair
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