My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize