she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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