If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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