do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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