i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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