Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
