I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
