No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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