I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Randomize
