It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
