BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Redeem this text for a blowjob
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
