I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
