the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize
