3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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