I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
