We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
