i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize