Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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