I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
