dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
