Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
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