Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize
