I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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