I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
