if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
