oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
My pussy is not your playground.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
my poor anus
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
