problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
