thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
we should paint friendship bongs
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
