So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Randomize
