Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
