I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize