I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I'm determined to sit on that face.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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