I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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