it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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