his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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