Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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