so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
