Why are handjobs necessary in class?
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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