you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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