I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
