I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
