I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize