So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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