are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
