wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
