She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
