Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
