She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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