....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
