I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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